Friday, January 31

Saturday, January 25

20th Part II


First time spending my birthday in a club and I really had a great time last night! Happy to know all these bunch of people in my life :-) 












Friday, January 24

20th Part I



Had my first celebration with cousin as well as Freida in Sonar. It's our first time sitting on the sofa and truth to be told, I think I'm not suitable for sofa seats since it make me feel like sleeping :-) Grateful that both of you take out your time to celebrate with me!


Thursday, January 23

Birthdate


First of all, thank you to the people who wished me. Really appreciate your wishes! School as usual today and me at my best being late for my class and today, using the birthday girl privilege as an excuse to me late for class :-) Got my second present from Diyanah, a sephora gift card. Time for more make up shopping yayz and thank chiuuuu :-*

Birthday dinner with B after that at Kiseki and as usual both of us ate until we gonna explode. Initially we wanted to have steak but oh well the restaurant got some private function :-( So, the actual birthday celebration with my loved ones were over and I can't wait for the weekends to arrive! Even though it's belated celebration but it's with my friends and cousins. Playhouse here I comeee and I hope I'm able to stay alive

One year older, one year wiser and one year prettier but still forever short :-(

This time, I don't even expect much bcoz in the end I know I will only disappoint myself... Sometimes, I think too highly of everything... I think I'm very important to you but in actual fact I'm not that important at all. No expectation = no disappointment at all rightz?

Wednesday, January 22

Twenty


Today mark my new phrase of my life and it's no longer a fat candle for me. From this moment onward, everything will be a new beginning for me. Stepping into young adult life, being one of the few that turn 20 first... No doubt, time really flies. I wish I could slow down time so I wouldn't turn old so fast. I can't deny age is catching up with me :-(

As usual, dinz nd' spending the very first moment of this special day with my family as well as B! And thanks B for the watch you gotten for me, really really love it a lot! :-)

1year, 12months, 365days, 8760hours, 525600minutes, 32536000seconds. Flame to dust, friends to strangers, it's funny how many things changes so fast... People who were here last year isn't here with me anymore. Don't talk about a year or a month, a day definitely will change a lot of things. Looking at the board budz did for me last year made me miss everything. It's been months since we talked and every single day without fail, I hope you come back


不知道是不是随着年纪大了 期望就变少了。生日渐渐变成一种不特别的日子。。。虽然以前生日对我来说很重要 但是现在,能跟亲爱的人和很好很好的朋友度过我就心满意足了。生日真的能看得出身边的人有多么关心你 多么在乎你

Monday, January 20

Promise


Finally, I decided to change the layout of my blog as well as did some minor editing here and there. As the new year begin, I promise that I'm gonna update this space a lil' more often compare to the past and I promise I will not lazy anymore :-(

A fresh year, a fresh start, a fresh look, a fresh new link for my lil' space right here. I never like to publicize my lil' space whenever I changed my URL it's bcoz if people care enough, or they are stalker enough they will make the effort to find out my link.

So, why wanderlust this time round? Yes, I've a very strong desire to travel around and not staying in a place for long but I don't want to do it alone and I want to travel around with the person I love the most which is B! So, I've decided to do own a personal travel journal which include all the places I'm going to go from now onward.

And I also decided to own a 365days journal so I can pen down my everyday and give it as a gift to B in 2015.

Saturday, January 18

245th


It's been 8months *jump around, throw confetti* I love you

Wednesday, January 15

The thought of internship, I don't know why just make me think of what I wanna do after I graduate... Should I continue pursing what I wanna do since young? Should I stay in this industry? Should I apply for uni? Yes, all these questions had been stuck in my head for a period of time. And it's like if I purse my dream job what if I fail? If I stay in this industry, where and which company? If I apply for uni, where and what faculty? 

I did a lil' research on Maersk, Royal Dutch Shell, KOM, JSL as well as some oil &gas company... This are some of the companies I'm interested in joining after I graduated and I also did a lil' research on SIT and some overseas uni... How I wish I'm either very smart or very rich so I don't have to worry so much... :-(

My future seems so dark ahead of me and the thought of it, just crumbled me. Can I not grow up? Can I not plan for my future? Can I continue to not know what I want to do? Should I start on my career or continue my studies after I graduate? I'm so clueless... 

Monday, January 13

Joy

First week of school did not turn out well... As usual, skipping almost all the lectures just bcoz I don't feel like attending it. Gotten back all my CTs result and yayz bcoz I don't have retest for any module so I can rest a lil' while more :-) Attended my first UR lesson and it was really fun! :-D At least it made me understand guys a lil' more and how to work things out with them.

Braces appointment again and I'm another step closer to having perfect set of teeth. I guess I'm having braces for way too long that I can't imagine how I look like without it. Though my teeth are very stubborn but I hope it will move soon... I can't wait for the day I take off :-( 

And yknow the joy of receiving a call when you waited for very long? KEPPEL FINALLY CALLED ME FOR AN INTERVIEW!!! *jump around, throw confetti* Ok... I'm excited bcoz it's my first choice and it also reduce the chance of me getting into SMOE (located at Sembawang) I'm not saying that SMOE is not good, I'm afraid of being posted there for internship it's bcoz I've to travel and I've to wake up very early everyday and yes, pig like me how izzit possible for me to wake up early everyday when I'm having a hard time sleeping every single day?

Up till now, me and B are in better term compared to the past (don't talk about the start of 2014) maybe it's bcoz both of us somehow voice out our own opinion on things? I wish that everything will continue like that forever so we will not quarrel anymore bcoz honestly, I hate quarreling with you

Saturday, January 4

thoughts

All I ever wanted was just simple things from you. All I ever wanted was just your time, your love and the attention I deserve. I'm not a robot, I'm only human and there's only so much, so much that I can handle.

You told me that I don't care and I'm not even fighting for us but you didn't know that you are the last person on this universe that ever got the rights to say all these to me bcoz I fought really hard for us, I care too much about us that it became a must for you.

If there's something to measure how tired am I, it would be fucking negative

I tried my best, I'm tired

Friday, January 3

I don't care if it's gonna break me apart and fuck my life up. All I care about is giving you the best of everything and showering you with all the love and happiness you deserve. I don't care if I'm gonna end up wound badly. I just want you to be happy that's all. I made this choice myself and I'm gonna face the consequences myself.

Please be happy

Wednesday, January 1

twenty-fourteen

Drafted this post sometimes back in 2013 in hope for something new in 2014. I'm not someone who will write down resolution and follow them bcoz there's always some thing that gna ruin my resolution in the end. Been super lazy to update this personal space of mine due to school work and some personal stuff

Truth to be told, I'm still trying to recuperate my heart. Yes I'm hurting, badly deep down. It hurt so badly that I just want to rot my life away... So how are you right now? Are you good? Is 2014 a fresh start for you without me by your side?

I finally found the courage to take a look of myself in the mirror and I couldn't see my strong self anymore. I became so weak that I couldn't even recognize myself. Last year, I made way too many mistakes that it became a choice. For all the mistakes I made, I'm gonna face the consequences now. So why up till now I still keep those words into my mouth? Why can't I just blunt every single thing out and let him know how hurting I am, how tired of holding everything together alone?

They said time heal all wound so let it be. I admit it's gonna take a very very long time for me to get over it. I can't guarantee that I'm gonna heal but I can only guarantee that I'm coming back stronger than before. When it comes to you, I'm never afraid but right now I'm very afraid of letting someone to break me down over and over again. Yet at the same time, I wish someone would take away all these pain of mine.

I am fine & this is just bullshit