sometimes we say "I just want you to be happy" but deep inside our heart, we know, we still want to be their happiness
remember one of the letter I wrote, it includes something along the line of "I hope your next girl treasure you bc she's gonna have my world" I sure hope she does but i guess part of me would still want to be that girl. And i promise i will be better then i was bc i never want to lose you again. I can't tell if i still love you, my feelings for you is covered with denial. But you have a place in my heart, and that spot is now a space, irrecoverable
I dont think you read my blog at all. you didnt even want me to write because you hate me too much, you want nothing to do with you and you don't give a fuck
but if ever you do. Brendan, i am sorry its taking so long. I am still trying to leave, to not look into the direction of someone calling your name. ti not ask about you or find out about you bc I'm nobody to you anymore and I don't have the rights to. And to not think about us...
do you ever wonder how it would be like if we were still together? I think of it alot. different possibilities, different outcomes, different approach... Making me alittle delusional but these getaways are the only way back to you and i indulge in every moment i seemingly touched your skin, trying to recall the warmth that i no longer recognize
they said pain is pleasure and I guess I'm addicted to the pain you inflicted to me. I'm sorry that I cannot be 潇洒 I 拿得起放不下 and 放不下你是我活该. I guess I didn't put enough efforts, to the extent I hope this Taiwan getaway will make me feel a lot more better
