I don't know why but it already came to a point where I get annoyed whenever people asked "why you don't want to have a boyf" I mean like must I find a boyf after getting out of a relationship, must I be with someone/ have someone in my life or must I date someone too? if the answer is yes, then too bad it's not my fault
I salute people that can change their boyf or girlf/ dates like how they change their clothes or even in a blink of their eyes. I salute how people can claim that they love someone, ditch them and then be with someone else weeks or a month later bc I can't bring myself to do it. when I say that I love someone, I feel that I made a promise to their heart to not give up on them
it's a natural thing that human being will feel lonely that's why they will tend to find a companion or so. I admit, I do feel lonely and I do feel empty sometimes. I want someone to adore me, to pamper and to love me as well but that doesn't give me any reason to date/ go into a relationship with someone. I know I haven't move on, I know I still love B as much as the past, I know that I'm still waiting for B so what's the point too?
I have many problems and I do want to share them with someone, I came with huge emotional baggage as well as I have secrets of my own. what's the ponit of sharing all these with someone else when I only want to share it with one person?
I know I will never recover, I know I will not heal and I know I will never move on so what's the point of letting someone into my life when I know I can't love them, I can't give them my all, I will never allow them to break down my walls, I will never share my thoughts with them? why do I want to be so heartless for them to give me the power to break them apart? I'm already so broken
it's true that people do change. I used to be the one in the group who will go head over heels when I see good looking guys but after the break up, I got totally no interest towards guys (in the sense of looking) not even guys that I used to find good lookings anymore. and I cannot hold a convo with guys too bc eventually I will stop replying them after awhile and I guess, it's just phobia towards guy
