Stop messaging him. Stop making excuses to see him, to pass by his place or his work place
Erase his name from memory. Remove yourself from his life, more completely than you would like but as completely as he deserves. Move on, so that you can allow him to also move on. When you close your eyes, you don’t get to see his face. Not anymore. You don’t get to think about his lips, the warm glow of his skin when he rests next to you, or how he squeezes your hand in his sleep. You are not allowed to remember the smell of his shampoo or perfume, or that he likes you. You are not allowed to remember his kisses and hugs
So, forget how he says your name. Forget how he calls your name. Forget that time you got sick and he came down almost immediately to take care of you wanted, letting you lay your head in his shoulder. Forget how his hair feels in your fingers. Forget how he look. Forget the times he ferries you around. Forget the times where he actually put in some efforts. Forget the times he pamper you
Forget him.
Know only that he existed at one point in your life, but relinquish all hope that he could exist at another point — sometime in the future that you are unwilling to specify because you don’t know what you want. Yet. It is not fair for you to swoop in and out of his life as you choose. It is not fair for you to say that you are satisfied with “things as they are” and you will have time to “figure it out” later. Let him stop investing emotionally in you. Let him pour that love and care into the people who deserve him. Remember to him, you are just a companion
Don’t tell him that you think about him all the time. Don’t tell him that this isn’t the right moment but that there will be a right moment. There is not going to be a right moment. He shouldn’t have to wait for the right moment.
Don’t tell him that you can’t handle ultimatums, that you don’t like the idea of finally adding finality to your relationship — whatever still remains of it.
He is fire. You are ice, and you are afraid that his slow burn will smolder your cool, hard demeanor. That’s what has driven your decisions, your actions all along: fear. You are a coward. You are a hypocrite. You are terrified to let him go, but you are afraid he is too good for you, that he could drive you wild, that you would choke on his flames. That he is too much for you to handle right now.
But if you choose not to love him now, you can’t choose to love him later
Erase his name from memory. Remove yourself from his life, more completely than you would like but as completely as he deserves. Move on, so that you can allow him to also move on. When you close your eyes, you don’t get to see his face. Not anymore. You don’t get to think about his lips, the warm glow of his skin when he rests next to you, or how he squeezes your hand in his sleep. You are not allowed to remember the smell of his shampoo or perfume, or that he likes you. You are not allowed to remember his kisses and hugs
So, forget how he says your name. Forget how he calls your name. Forget that time you got sick and he came down almost immediately to take care of you wanted, letting you lay your head in his shoulder. Forget how his hair feels in your fingers. Forget how he look. Forget the times he ferries you around. Forget the times where he actually put in some efforts. Forget the times he pamper you
Forget him.
Know only that he existed at one point in your life, but relinquish all hope that he could exist at another point — sometime in the future that you are unwilling to specify because you don’t know what you want. Yet. It is not fair for you to swoop in and out of his life as you choose. It is not fair for you to say that you are satisfied with “things as they are” and you will have time to “figure it out” later. Let him stop investing emotionally in you. Let him pour that love and care into the people who deserve him. Remember to him, you are just a companion
Don’t tell him that you think about him all the time. Don’t tell him that this isn’t the right moment but that there will be a right moment. There is not going to be a right moment. He shouldn’t have to wait for the right moment.
Don’t tell him that you can’t handle ultimatums, that you don’t like the idea of finally adding finality to your relationship — whatever still remains of it.
He is fire. You are ice, and you are afraid that his slow burn will smolder your cool, hard demeanor. That’s what has driven your decisions, your actions all along: fear. You are a coward. You are a hypocrite. You are terrified to let him go, but you are afraid he is too good for you, that he could drive you wild, that you would choke on his flames. That he is too much for you to handle right now.
But if you choose not to love him now, you can’t choose to love him later
