2more days till our actually first year. tbh, I'm very afraid that this day will come but I know there's no way I can avoid it
I'm close to tears, not even bothering to save myself from all this mess. I'm afraid I would hurt even more if I try to fix everything or save myself. I tortured myself long enough in our memories bc I'm the only one here now and not both of us anymore
I'm afraid of falling apart even more bc I know there's no one here to save me but myself. I can only depend on myself and nobody else. jumping into the grave I dug for myself all these while and I'm continue digging it to make myself go even deeper
I love you and I never regret anything that's regarding you and given another chance, I will love you even more right and treat you the way you wanted. gown a chance, I want to know you again bc I realized I don't know you at all after looking at you through different perspective. I don't mind getting hurt by you I don't mind going through every single thing I had been through so I can be right next to you
someone once asked why do I treasure your double heart necklace so much when it's not any luxurious item? firstly, it's a gift from you and then to me, its our heart that joined together. but what's the point of wearing it now when I lost your heart to someone else? I can only keep it somewhere safe and hopefully in the future, there's a chance of you coming back and me, wearing it again
I'm never capable of keeping you in my life bc you always wanted to be free that's why I gave you all the entitlement you wanted
I'm convinced that I'm made of steel but I'm not after all. never thought that I would fell so sick I guess I forgotten how to take care of myself... after the 2nd time I fell sick, I'm never well again:(
Bren, I need you a lot more than you think
