trying hard to stay very strong but as the days go by, I'm getting weaker and weaker. how am I supposed to pull through 18th may, my big day of the big day?
never been so afraid of something, never been so weak ever in my life and I just want to end every single thing right at this moment including my life. every single day I'm hoping I can never wake up while people are hoping to live another day
can't even feel any pain, I think I'm just numb be it emotional or physically and I'm mentally tired. I wouldn't be surprised if I just collapse one day. I don't try to survive anymore. I'm just barely breathing
to be honest, I miss the old me. the me which I can just laugh through every single thing, the me when I'm with you, the one which got the brightest smile and the me which look forward to waking up every single morning. you affected my life a lot, more than anything in this world it's like a 360deg changes. I don't even recognise myself anymore in the mirror. I feel so foreign about myself as well
I miss being the reason of your smile and frown
