I heard they said drunkard speak sober thoughts so here I am talking about my sober thoughts. all along I know he won't be reading my "major thoughts" that's why I find it very comfortable dumping all my feelings and thoughts in here
I'm only left with 21 days to love you openly bc right after that day I will be back to the square one, the one who always carry a torch for you. love is handing someone the gun and trusting them not to pull and trigger. Bren, you pull the trigger and reload the gun then shot me again not once, not twice but many until I lost count of it
it's how funny when I used to feel all the funny emotions for you and how everything effects me but I guess what I'm doing now is right, I'm slowly killing myself and at the same time I'm slowly to feel nothing anymore
perhaps I'm good at pretending. I pretend I moved on, I pretend I'm happy and I pretend that you don't mean a thing, I pretend I don't love you anymore. it's never easy but I'm trying bc I don't want you to know that I'm weak
remember you told me "I don't have to be so strong bc you will always be by my side"? what happened? I'm always strong bc I only have myself to depend on. there's nobody backing me up if I fall and I have nobody. I push people away bc I don't want anyone to break my walls down so they can hurt me. I'm never gonna let anyone tear my walls down and I'm never gna break my walls down for anyone again. the only person that got all the rights in the whole to have my naked heart is just him
I miss you Bren, I'm not as strong as you think but I'm trying to be
