Stay

I'm another day closer to self destruction and another day to decide about my future. I guess this is the hardest decision ever bc I don't even know what's going to happen in a month time, how am I suppose to know what will happen in a year and 3 years time? I always wanted commitment from someone else but if I accept this offer, I'm the one who can never give any physical commitment bc I will not be here the whole time

it just made me wonder if it's worth selling my life away for a total of 240k euros for 2 years in US... I know when I'm back I will have a very good portfolio and I can get any job easily in the marine industry and I will be rich enough to buy anything in singapore at the age of 23 but is this really what  I want?

it's a very good opportunity and I wanted this all along plus it's my dream company... but what's holding me back from my decision? I know I shouldn't give up my dream or career easily for anyone but then... I really don't know. 

can I just throw every single thoughts away and not think about anything right now and make the decision when 19th May reach? this is seriously bothering me every single day...

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I don't want to stalk but the worst thing that can ever happened is when you know too many people and they started to feed you with all the things you don't want to know... why am I still treating you so nice and so good when to you, it's annoying